M = E

Let my heart be crushed a thousand times but the wisdom that has grown within me will never betrayed me......

No matter how long it will take for my heart to heal and start anew i will never once look back and regret the steps I had to be where i am today........

I've been in this battle field for as long as i can remember and there's no turning back only moving forward to achieve the winning trophy.......

I don't want to be those who have retreated back away in shame........

I don't want to be those who died during the battle without any armors on.......

I will be someone that stand and fight till the very end with every tools that I can grasp on even if it means i have to let go of the hands that have been holding tight to me.........

I need to stand on my own now!!!!!

I need to spread my wing free and face the cruelty of this world and its people......

The wisdom that I have collected will be my source of light in the darkness.......

Faith will be my armor.....

Heart.....

Be strong......

We gonna get through this like we always have.......

NOT BREATHING......

"You see the hole???"

"which hole??? the down one or the upper one???"

"the one near the..... ehhh... what aaa.... that thing called???"

-----------------------------------------------------------

*pushing the tongue away with laryngoscope*

-----------------------------------------------------------

laryngoscope

"vocal cord???"

"Oh yes, the vocal cord....you nampak or not???"

"Nampak, nak masukkan kat situ ke????"

"Yup... not to deep ok"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

*pushing the endotracheal tube inside the mouth*

-------------------------------------------------------------------

endotracheal tube

"Ok done!!! BVM now!!!"

bag-valve-mask

-------------------------------------------------------------------
*giving air to the patient"
--------------------------------------------------------------------


"YES!!!!!lung inflate!!!!hahaha......Mission complete!!"

"cool!!!! pas nie boleh berbuke dgn aman, tenteram,seronok....." ^_^

PUASA....SHOPPING....NASI LEMAK.....DEMAM???

Yesterday the whole geng went out to pasar siti, MPKB, and the newly opened Parkson...... its been quite sometimes since our last outing together but i never thought there will be any drastic change with the traffic flow in KB.... all the jalan suddenly jadi one way!!!0_0 Well to me its a good decision since the road won't be sesak memandangkan jalan dah semakin lebar but from what i saw on that day, it was a total opposite. Jalan semakin sesak.....debu-debu nye toksah cerite...... panasnye pulak.....-_-. Thank god ade air-cond kat Parkson... hehehe....... :P


Initially I went out sebab nak teman my friends and spend some 'quality time' together since we haven't been doing any bonding/kerja gile since balik cuti convo but of course I end up spending money to buy of course, clothes, clothes and more clothes!!!! Nasib baik tak jumpe kasut and bag yang menarik minat.....=_=


Well its not that there are no bags or shoes that interest me its just that I can't bear to hear my mum mendendangkan dondang sayang about how many shoes & bags I have and that I'm not lipan @beluncas @octopus yang banyak tangan & kaki....... so.....sabar je la..... ~RAMADHAN banyak mengajarku bagaimana untuk bersabar & jangan tamak.....~^_^~


Time berbuke, dal cooked nasi lemak & mind you only the nasi.....=_= ~jangan marah naaa~ me & Ida had to rebus telur, fried the anchovies and of coz masak sambal that turned out to be masin?????? hehehe.....well anyway right now I'm coming down with fever & its not SWINE FLU!!! maybe because of the heat mase bershopping sakan kut???.... hahha......:p


Waaaaa..... pecah rekod nie.... dah 2 tahun tak demam...... WAAAAA!!!!!! NAK BALIK!!!!!! T_T

Penemuan di Ramadhan

Arini genap 7 hari puasa.... betul x???? of coz btol!!!! hehehehe...... anyway, the moral of the story yang i want to share today is that, bulan puasa mampu mengasah bakat masak yang terpendam selama ini......!!!! ^_^ seriously, I never thought that I can actually, properly cook a meal!!! btol tak tipu!!!

This year punye Ramadhan, me, ida, air, su, min, & dal decided that we cook instead of beli kat bazar Ramadhan. At first I was like...

"korang serius ke nak masak nie??? ke nak main masak-masak je????"

Air was like " Yelah, betul la nak masak nie....."

i was like " ok" 0_0

So thats how we started out. First day of cooking, lauk ade nasi tak masak coz tak sempat...... so we bought nasi kosong and makan dengan sardin and sup sayur......

2nd of cooking, everything was under control..... vege soup and sambal udang


Third day, we go for western..... Fish & chips with thousand island and mayonnaise...... it was amazing since I'm not so much into nasi. Sehari 2 ok, after that no more.....

we even masak Chicken soup....

Fourth day which is today, ME, MYSELF & I cooked chicken curry, scramble egg and potato soup.... hahaha.... totally my style..... simple je..... tak yah pening2 kpl!!! ^_^

Tommorow we're thinking nak masak nasi lemak!!!! hehehe.... nasib baik dah menuntut ilmu drpd chef 'international' non other than my mum..... hikhikhi...... ^_^

Oh yeah, I just realize that our lauk dah semakin maju.... from sardin to western to curry to nasi lemak!!!! huhu.... Asam pedas and gulai lomak cili api pun sodap gak......hehe... nanti suruh dal ngan ida buat!!!! YEAY!!!!

OH IBU...OH AYAH......

Dah 6 hari pose...... tibe2 rase nak tukar angin tulis BM lak... so yeah..... since dah 6 hari pose maknenye 3 minggu lagi balik rumah!!!!!!! - throws confetti- You see, I L.O.V.E being at home..... it makes me feel protected for some reasons. I don't feel vulnerable.....its a feeling that someone will always have your back supporting you through your countless ups and downs in life, comforting you...... The feeling is just B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L ^_^.ahhhhh..........baru cakap dah rase nak nangis..... T_T

I'm an introvert thats for sure!! kalau orang tak approach dulu jgn harap mulut nie nak manis berbicara. Some people said that i'm too full of myself, berlagak, sombong and perkataan yg sewaktu dengannya.... but of course, me being me tak ambik pusing langsung ape orang cakap as long I feel comfortable being myself....

but my mum said.......

'kalau macam tu sampai bile nak ade kawan??? you have to change your attitude ija, masuk kandang lembu.....'

-sambung sendiri la ek... malas nak tulis..... :P pastu ayah lak....,-

' takpe2..., kalau takde kawan ayah ngan ibu ade..... kawan jugak tu..... swimming sama2, bowling sama2, shopping sama2.... bukan kawan ke tu????'

-Hehehe.... ayah mmg sporting gile!!!!-

That is soooooo not true!!!! who said i don't have friends???? of course ade, kalau tak macam mane nak survive idup sorang2!!!! betul tak???? ^_^ see....I'm not that bad.... ibu.... ija bukannye macam adik tu... friendly tak tentu pasal...... ija spesis friendly yang bertempat..... hehehe :P kalau orang tu pandai approach, ok je klu tak, k.o lew..... huhu.......

Anyway...... Can't wait to see my mum and dad!!!!!! rindu gile.....!!!! hahaha.......3 minggu lagi balik..... yeay!!!!! It's a miracle that I actually rindu kat my brother also!!!

NIRWANA

Yesterday I went to the newly opened 'shopping complex' to buy some stuff for the upcoming RAMADHAN. Stuff meaning, all sorts of cookies, biscuit, nescafe (addicted to it), nestume, sunquick and all things related to food. We even thought of buying spaghetti and jadikan juadah berbuka. Some might say I'm boros and greedy but I L.O.V.E eating so who cares as long as I finish the food right????

After that, we went roaming around the place since that's the first time I went there after 3 weeks diorang open. You see, the reason behind this is because I'm waiting for MYDIN to open and not NIRWANA because it is widely known that MYDIN is cheaper compare to other places when it comes to shop for barang-barang dapur most of the time. But when NIRWANA open, I was like who cares as long as I don't have to drive all the way to KB with all the traffic light every 2 kilometre!!! Tiring I'm telling you espeacially drive keta manual.

OK, so we went roaming and my ever so observant eyes saw this really nice baju kurung. I thought of buying it for raya eventhoungh I already bought 1 in K.L. But my friend ask me whether I really want to wear the baju kurung time kuliah and I said no and she said

"what's the point of buying it if you only want to wear time raye je?"

Seriously, it was way too GLAMOROUS kalau nak pakai time kelas. So, I went looking for something else and I found this really nice dress. The design and colour was ....0_0..... well at least to me. So without hesitating, I paid for it. Sampai kat bilik, I was like, why on earth did I buy the dress for???? I don't do dress!! I'm all about jeans and t-shirt most of the time kalau tak pakai baju kurung that is.

I guess I'm gonna wear it once then give it to my cousin who loves dressing up so much. She sure would LOVE it..... -_-

blehhh..... that's me for you... very very bad at thinking twice if I see something i love/like in front me. Beli dulu pikir kemudian...Pikir2 balik, design dress tu biase2 je... Gahhh....*_-

MR. GD IS b@Ck!!!!

Woooottt people!!!!! our Captain G-Sparrow is back!!!! yep you heard that right!! he's back with his first ever solo album entitled Heart breaker!!! Smashing!!!! Oh ya.... he even bleached/dyed his hair to PLATINUM BLOND!!!! Yup, that's him alright with an apple as MIC???? but yah, anything is possible if he wants it.......

I'm gonna buy the album fosho but b4 that download first lor.... hehehe..... so far, these are the few songs from his album that i have been listening repeatedly.....

1. HEART BREAKER
2. HELLO
3. SHE'S GONE
4. BUTTERFLY
5. BREATHE

so far only 1 MV has come out which is heart breaker.... weird though, the whole concept is something like the picture above.... can't wait for his live performance and his concert!!!! ( i hope he'll do 1)

Nothing else to say but it's a worth buying album for this summer people.Go grab it arraso!!!! hehehe...... lastly..... Heart breaker MV for u..

you're my heart heart heart heart breaker.....

M0nth 0f the Year

People are addicted to poker game in facebook. This has cause me not to update my ever-so-inspiring-non-stop lecture in this blog... well let see.... i have nothing major to write in this entries though but it is as important as any other entries so far......



This entry is specially dedicated to all of my friend that have been tolerating with my childishness, madness and mood swings..... eventhough i might seem like an ignorant bull about others feeling, but... deep down i do care about you ma fwen.... ^_^

1. Sayyidah Nafisah
   


2. Nurisa
   


3. Fazlin

My friends.... happy b'day to you!! May Allah bless you and granted you with happiness, wealth and of course, future husband yang soleh....... love ya!!!! ^_^

p/s : Happy b'day to my man....... non other than KWON JIYONG a.k.a
G-DRAGON!! Congrats on the release of your new solo album.
Keep composing creative music!!! ^_^

T_T.......T_T.......T_T

OOOOOkayYYYYYY!!!!!!! I admit that I'm a little bit slow when it comes to current issues like,

1. Yasmin Ahmad died because of stroke
2. There was a confrontation in K.L
3. The real situation regarding H1N1

but what i can't forgive myself is the fact that my FAVOURITE hallyu star - TVXQ - is undergoing a major lawsuit against their company SM and i didn't know it!!!!!! Only 3 of them are involved -Yoochun, Junsu, Jaejoong - The other 2 remain quiet???? - Changmin & Yunho - It is mainly because of the unfair treatment the company is giving them. Imagine 9:1 @ 8:2 ratio of income with the larger number goes to the company and also the 13 years of contract that seems like slave's contract to me. But thankfully there were no talk about disbandment.

oooooo.... I'm too depressed to even cont. babbling about the matter....... they're very close with each other so it 's impossible to even imagine them parted their own way......But the whole issues of unfairness should be taken into court since the company are not even considering to negotiate outside the court! Cassiopeia's prayers, love and faith will be with you.... T_T.

* ONLY WHEN WE ARE 5, WE ARE TVXQ *

H1N1 PANDEMIC

At 9 a.m today, we had a briefing session about world and local condition due to the new strain of influenza A named H1N1..... most of us were hoping that during the taklimat the doctor in charge will eventually announce the 1 week holiday the students been craving for but it was 360 turn when they said that the whole campus will be quarantined and no one can go back even for the convex's holiday..... I was like WTH????? I already bought the ticket so i'm still gonna go back by hook or by crook!!

It seems that the plan was ruled out in such way so that we won't harm people outside of the campus since there were 11 confirmed case reported among the students with 8 being quarantined and 3 admitted. I was like WTF 0_0???!!! They never once told us about the severity of this pandemic before. They kept denying it saying that our campus is free from it!!!!

But what annoyed me the most was, the briefing session was done in rush because of the increasing number of students with H1N1.WHY????

1. They hesitating while answering the question from the provoking students but put on the I-know-everything-so-you-should-listen-to-me face.
2. They kept saying no everytime we mention the word HOLIDAY without even taking into consideration about our proposal of doing screening test before balik rumah.
3. I believe...... to me it's better for you...... try and ask the head of department........ this phrases of the day were being used over and over again .......

Students were angered by this decision and obviously i don't think anyone would actually listen to the no-going-home order. DUHHHH....... rules are meant to be broken!!!!! ^_^


10 August 2009 : 27 death in Malaysia ( 3 p.m )

NEWS OF THE DAY.......

KOTA BHARU : It was reported that 4 of USM students residing in NURANI Block are suspected with H1N1 influenza. While in the hospital there are 2 confirmed case of H1N1 and immediate action has been taken to transfer the patient to HKB. Some volunteers have been distributing face mask since morning. Students are anxious but no words from HEP.....

How does that sound???? 4 students suspected with 'THE' influenza A in MY BLOCK!!!!! OMG, it is proper for HEP to take immediate action about this rather than just quarantine those students. Plus we need to do clerking for our respiratory teaching, don't you think its too risky for the us???? Aishhh..... I want holiday!!!!!

ME = PATIENCE????? NOT!!!!

Being human, you can't never run away from problems, mistakes and all the annoying people surrounding your life. Its like a complete package/free gift once you sign the contract of becoming a person on the face of the earth. Some of us might tolerate this stressor a.k.a the one with patience while others just burst out like the volcano's lava a.k.a ME.

Well you see, other than being unfriendly I'm also a person with a ZERO level of patience. It is better now but don't ever ever test it.... take that as an advice from someone that care for you. But but but.... here's the trick, it's getting better because I tend to keep all the 'lava' bottled up inside which I think will be fatal once it's erupt. Who knows, it might be worse than Krakatoa.

When a promise has been made don't cancel it on last minute. Last minute here means 15-30 minutes before the time of the promise. It drives me crazy. Unless you are bed ridden or turned blind or paralyzed within those minutes, don't ever cancel it. I might tolerate it once or twice but never the 3rd time.......

FUUhh....... that feels good...... before, it feel as if my lung my just explode because of excessive 'lava' level in it, but now, it's slowly getting better....

p/s : sorry for the unnecessary rambling..... told you before about how much i love expressing myself with words when I'm not in a correct state of mind...... here is the example..... hehe ^_^

<3 <3 <3 Chingu <3 <3 <3

Passing by at a quick pace
I wonder how much of a season had already gone?

Walking through the scenery I’ve become familiar with
Without being able to slip away
From these distant memories alone
It's like I completely lost my destination
That was the time when I met you

We met by chance along this road Even now I can’t forget, ever since that day
Much of the sorrow and anxiety I held
Everything had been changed
Through the warmth of your memories
Proud of your love

Finding two shells Is just like a miracle..
Meeting you once more

If you're here beside me Even the depths of my heart
Would be comfortable with this gentle feeling
Even if violent rain falls down
And strong winds blow about

I'll go out to protect this love If we're together we can surely overcome all
Could I have thought like that at first?
So I don’t let go of this hand
I'll always gaze carefully at time

We met by chance along this road
Even now I can’t forget, ever since that day
Things that live on, things that I believe in
While changing towards happiness,
We’d both walk along together
Proud of your love

Proud of your love..
Proud of your love..
Proud of your love..
Proud of your love..
Proud of your love..

BLACK @ WHITE

I just got back from Persatuan Sains Perubatan @ PSP AGM. Here are the chronology :

1. Supposed to start at 8 p.m but end up starting at 9.30 p.m
( mind you, I H.A.T.E waiting)

2. The speech from some important people and video ( went well )

3. THE MOMENT - Choosing new candidate for 09/10

YDP : Going well. A guy from 4th year got chosen

NYDP : I chose someone else but someone else won and again from 4th
year. seriously 2nd year should be chosen.... =_=

S/U : 1 of the candidate refuse to run for the post but everything went well.

Treasurer : 1 word, chaotic!!!! this is when all the drama starts and starts
heating up

- firstly there were 3 candidate then minus 1 leaving the members
of the floor with 2 choices.
- 1 is a malay and other is non-malay.
- we vote.
- the malay won by 20++ vote.
- 1 human being doesn't feel satisfied asked for recount.
- others don't agree because its freaking 12.05 a.m already.
- then 3/4 of the students just went out of the meeting showing
their protest. ( all of them are non-Malay)

4. Proceeds with the agenda

5. 1.15 a.m finish.

So, where is the ONE MALAYSIA the PM talking about cuz i ain't seeing it here people. I seriously think that Malaysia have some major issues regarding races. Many things have been done like BTN and NS and etc... but no improvement whatsoever. Maybe we can laugh watching the same programme or talk casually with each other but once the matter of race surfaces, we'll have our side to support without caring who's right or who's wrong. It always have been that way even before independent till now. Every race thinks that they have the right to this country but if you think carefully, all of us belong to this country and obligate to make it as a better place for the future generation to live without any gap in social status.

Somehow, when this kind of racial issues happen, it got me thinking about who will actually be one standing and fight their ass out when our country are being attack *cross finger*.Will it be the Malay, Chinese or the Indian?????? I do not want to see the MALAYSIA that is standing not so tall and not that short either crumbled just because of internal conflict. A very dumb way to end our 52 y/o independence........

Lu pikirla sendiri!!!!!!!

D.E.P.R.E.S.S.I.O.N

I have a feeling that I'm undergoing tiny weebit of depression. why??? 1st of all, I'm not interested at all to study...... i skip lectures, sticking my nose in front of the computers eventhough nothing interesting is going on. What else???? oh ya, my overflowing mood to start writing sad, depressing story and listening to sentimental, slow, ballad songs..... gahh.......!!!!!

Or maybe my heart has travel back home in K.L since I'm gonna have not H1N1 holiday but convo's holiday. Haaaish.......

Mood swing is 1 of the thing that I hate so much. I might be laughing on the outside but once everyone else is absorb with works I'll to hold my pencil and start writing anything that come out of my mind. Let me tell you, I have a thick book full of 'beautiful' words and stories. My friend even suggest me to send it to magazine......hehehe.....

But whatever it is, my words belongs to me and me only. Its for my eyes to see, my mouth to say, my ears to listen and my heart to understand.......