D.E.P.R.E.S.S.I.O.N

I have a feeling that I'm undergoing tiny weebit of depression. why??? 1st of all, I'm not interested at all to study...... i skip lectures, sticking my nose in front of the computers eventhough nothing interesting is going on. What else???? oh ya, my overflowing mood to start writing sad, depressing story and listening to sentimental, slow, ballad songs..... gahh.......!!!!!

Or maybe my heart has travel back home in K.L since I'm gonna have not H1N1 holiday but convo's holiday. Haaaish.......

Mood swing is 1 of the thing that I hate so much. I might be laughing on the outside but once everyone else is absorb with works I'll to hold my pencil and start writing anything that come out of my mind. Let me tell you, I have a thick book full of 'beautiful' words and stories. My friend even suggest me to send it to magazine......hehehe.....

But whatever it is, my words belongs to me and me only. Its for my eyes to see, my mouth to say, my ears to listen and my heart to understand.......

Mokcik pe Kabo????

Today we had a lecture on etiquette in history taking and P.E.... so being the negative thinker that i am, i thought that the lecture gonna be boring, monotone,sleepy..... BUT...BUT.....BUT!!!!

IT WAS HILARIOUS AND FUN!!!!!

Okay maybe not hilarious but it kept me laughing for the whole 1 hour i spent in the ever- so- hot lecture hall.....Seriously H.T and P.E really worried me since you know, I'm not much of a talker and seriously bad in engaging into a conversation with strangers..... But listening to what the prof. said during the lecture just now lessen the nerve-wrecking emotion in me. Fuhhh....

1. Confidence
2. Decent clothing
3. Smell-free, smile
4. Compassionate
5. A little bit of make-up would do.....
   

I suppose i can accomplish the first 4 but i'm not so sure about the last one....... i find it bothersome to even wear a compact powder but it won't hurt to try it out right??? hehehe..... Gonna start bugging my mum about it.......-lol- hehehe......

Aite, imma gonna sleep now..... nite world......

zzzzz............

.........-_-..........

Yesterday the 2nd year have a session for hospital orientation. I obviously were not looking forward for it. Why such attitude from a medical student??? the reasons ARE...

1. The nurses sometimes just happen to be ignorant about our presence in the ward.
2. We do not learn anything coz all we do are standing at one corner clueless on what to do...... or maybe its just me......
   
3. We have been through the same process when we were in the ever-so-great 1st year.
4. The patient are not co-operating when I was ask; more ;like an order to take their bp and pulse rate.
5. There aren't any doctor to to facilitate us on what to do and not to do in the ward.

Seriously, the list will go on and on. but being nice i just put a full stop there. I mean, the whole point of us, the student even have hospital orientation is to be able to know how the ward works in and out. But till now I still can't picture myself assisting my patient as a future doctor...... hmmm........ damn... i need to ;et loose a little bit..... smile, more friendlier and..... whatever.....

Bleh.......

U.S.R.A.H

Today, the girls have some heart to heart session a.k.a 'usrah'........ me being the lazy one of the bunch thought of escaping but somehow something tells me that i should wait and listen to this session..... As usual we start 20 minutes late... mind you, i H.A.T.E waiting! But whatever.....

The content of the usrah was simple, nothing heavy but it let you to think deeper about yourself..... how far have you come as a student but most importantly as a Muslim. Last year was tough. Being a freshie in a faraway land - KELANTAN - adapting to the custom, understanding the language was a difficult task. I've been to PLKN in yet another faraway land - SARAWAK - and Matrix but my best friend was in the same matrix and I practically have the second, third and fourth me in PLKN..... it was so much fun and it feels as if it was part of growing up process. But here, its difficult to be yourself and blend in. you have to fit the mold even though not exactly but that's how I felt to this day.... it feels as if you have friends but yet you still feel lonely -sigh-

But right now, as a student, my mission,vision,goal and etc.... is to my very best despite the difficulty i might face later...... I chose this course because I want to and not because someone force me in to it. Thus I need and must prove to myself that I'm worth every second that I spend studying this course.......I don't want to disappoint anyone especially my mom and dad..... the disappointment that they feel will cause me an eternity of regret and guilt.....

As a Muslims, I think I have a long way to go..... my knowledge and dedication towards Islam are still way too low compare to others. I'll try to move one step at a time and improve myself..... I don't want to do things because its a trend but I want to do it sincerely for Allah and Islam. I want to be able to explain it to other people why am i doing what I'm doing and not simply say " cause i saw people doing it,". It's not me. I need reasons to support my action. That's who i am!!! ~sometimes~

I DON'T CARE!!!!

Listen.......

Understand.......

Feel.......

Think.......

Has it ever happen to you or your friends or your friend's friend????


TRANSLATIONS

[CL] Hey playboy It's about time
And your time's up I had to do this one for my girls you know
That's the only way you boys learn


[Minzy] I can't ever forgive you for that lipstick on your collar
Every day, your phone's always off
It doesn't seem like you're going to change oh oh


[Dara]
All those girlfriends you call "friends"
Don't think of me in the same way as them, Iwon't let it fly
From now on, do as you want, I'm going to stop caring
For some time I really loved you but oh


[CL]
Sometimes you get drunk, and call me, now it's 5:30 am
Again you say another girl's name oh no


[Bom]
I don't care, I'll stop caring about what you're doing wherever you are
From now on I really don't care, I'll get out of the way
From now on don't come to me and cry, and cling on
cause I don't care e e e e e e
I don't care e e e e e e


[Minzy]
cause I don't care e e e e e e
I don't care e e e e e e
Boy I don't care


[Minzy]
Stealing glances at other girl's legs
You're so so hopeless
Everyday you take off your couple ring, and secretly go on a blind date
I don't think that I'll be able to take it anymore oh oh oh


[Dara]
My friends say that you're not really worth it
You even went to your wolf-like friends for advice
but I'd rather keep it simple,
I'm too good for you
I believed you were my love but oh oh


[CL] Today you said you were busy,
I tried phoning you but As expected,
in the background I heard a girl's laugh oh no


[Bom]
I don't care, I'll stop caring about what you're doing wherever you are
From now on I really don't care, I'll get out of the way
From now on don't come to me and cry, and cling on
cause I don't care e e e e e e
I don't care e e e e e e


[CL]
cause I don't care e e e e e e
I don't care e e e e e e
Boy I don't care


[Minzy]
Because of you, I remember crying till dawn boy
I regret every time I think about you when my heart was too easy, huh boy?
I'm too good to throw away and too boring to have
You should've treated me better when we were together
why are you clinging to me now


[CL]
You fooled me with your lies hundreds of times
From today on, I'll be a bad girl who makes guys cry
Now without a single tear, I'll laugh at you
Loser who's inside a game called love
Get on your knees and take me back
If not, get out of my sight right now


[Bom]
I don't care, I'll stop caring about what you're doing wherever you are
From now on I really don't care, I'll get out of the way
From now on don't come to me and cry, and cling on
cause I don't care e e e e e e
I don't care e e e e e e
cause I don't care e e e e e e
I don't care e e e e e e
Boy I don't care

translation credit: GEE & jjangchoo @ ygladies.com

left right.... left right.......

OMG!!!!! never would i believe that i tertrip upon my long lost nenek a.k.a friend in NS again.....!!!!! Thrilled???? still thinking..... its a year++ since i last heard of her though.....

1. tried contacting but no response....
2. irritated.......
3. forget about her......
4. 1 year after...... while browsing
5. FOUND HER!!!!
6. Let her be.......
7. miss her.....
8. miss Pija, Diyana, As.......
   
9. miss CHARLIE!!!!!!

Hrmmm........ come to think of it National Service gave me the best experience about standing on your own 2 feet, friendship, stop being selfish and NEVER be too picky with FOOD!!!! hihihi ^_^ - I'm always sharp tongue- Don't be too soft or cry easily..... And seriously, i think it works!!!! After 2 years, i found out that I'm very firm about my decision, very outspoken to a point it might hurt the other party, cause USM friends said so.... hahaha.....


So NS sure help me from the soft, ikut flow,picky eater and what not to a...... better me now???? but still i don't like vege and people still need to crack open the crabs for me - thank you to those who willingly do it for me!!!! love you guys!!!- But who cares I'm still me with an upgrade??? so yeah i am who i am...... i do stuff when i feel like it!!!!! go me!! ^_^



Coming back to the topic, I seriously miss my friend in NS.... The usual me, never want have too many friends because its not like you can divide your time and spend it with every single 1 of them right??? To me having friends is to show your dedication to them but not to a point where you neglect yourself or bawl your eyes out when they stab your back.... duhhh......


Nisa, Pija, Yana, As and not to forget me, we're quite close back then when in NS. Mainly maybe because we belong to the same group -CHARLIE- I was the crybaby, Pija was the toughest one among us, Yana was the easy going type, As was the motherly like who always have my back, last but not least Nisa. She nags a lot back in the days, that's why i called her nenek. Both of us always rush to get our food, she's a crybaby too. she did cry in a few occasion. Me being me who can't never witness a crying seen without fail will cry too even though the reason behind those tears is still unknown. That's prove of how a drama queen i can be!!! hahaha...... We always have each others back no matter what. I think..... 2 years++ do kills a lot of my precious neuron ~_~



From what I know, Yana, Pija and As are in KL and Nisa is in India taking Med...... Hmmm..... no photo to share thanks to the ever so smart me who went and delete all the pictures after dah cuci.... so, that's my story when i was in NS...... Wish I recorded all the memories so i could replay it over and over again.....


OH MY FRIEND - BIGBANG

Campus Life....... ^_^

Who said once you enter university your life will be so much easier???? no more nagging or eyes that watch your every move 24/7. Cool ain't it!!? But seriously, i think that's all in the imaginary land that we create to make us feel less burdened about living in a place where we can't always get what we desire and the fact that we need to adapt according to the 'righteous act' making us feel like a robot that have been reformat with brand new attitude, fashion sense and what not! Suddenly we're not who we are anymore........

Not only that, we suddenly realize the value of money. We used to spend RM 50 in a day buying all sort of 'important' things but now, to even spend RM 5.00 for lunch seems too expensive for us even though we are the proud receiver of JPA's 'money'..... books used to be below RM 30 but now it gone up to RM 100++...... scary!!!!


Making friends are not difficult but to find a real friend that will stick by your side like UHU glue in the sense that they will start nagging at you when you laze around not studying or sleeping during lecture and not nag at you to do things their way are difficult...... it wasn't as easy like in high school where you can find someone that have the same view as you. You need go deeper in order to get it. Thus never neglect your old friends that have gone through ups and downs with you. Appreciate them, give them a call every once in a while letting them know that they are not forgotten.


So, right now who said that living in university is blissful??? Doing your thing like it's nobody business, having wonderful time mingling with new people and spending money like there's no tomorrow seems impossible but it's never too late to make possible....


* IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING *.......... right??????

beautiful quotes

Don't know why but since last year I started to collect all the beautiful, meaningful quotes from various fan fiction and novels...... What draws me to it??? God knows! But it i suppose it helps me to be a little bit more expressive in talking, coz trust me when i say I'm not drama queen even though people think that i am....... hehehe....



Here are some of it :

• Memory is a way of holding onto things that you love, the things that you are and the things that never wanna lose

I suppose most people know this ;

• If you love something, you have to learn to let go, and if it comeback to you, it will be forever yours.

And the list goes on........

• Just as the circle without end, my love for you is will never end, just as it is made from permanent metal my love for you is eternal


• When you feel that the is closing in on you, and there is no one to listen to your cries....... remember that you still got me


• Even if my love for is like the winds that sways from every direction, i will always be the wind that blow on you. Even if i wipe you out of my heart, I'll always be reminded of with the tattoo on my arm. So even if.......that i can't wipe away my permanent scar.


• Undying promise to you I'll tell, that you will always be my angel and my love for you will never fail , on this day until forever......


• Hold fast to dreams for that dreams die, life is like a broken winged bird that cannot fly. Holds fast to dreams for that dreams go, life is like a barren field frozen with snow.

I think its enough right....... ????my hair stand while writing this dude....... rrrrrrrr......... but yeah world needs beautiful word to make a colourful and comfortable place to live in, where people of all races can mix freely without any negative thinking. kids are able to enjoy themselves regardless of each others colour.

However, nowadays people doesn't seem to appreciate each other anymore. they go on with their life without caring whether their neighbour or friends are sick or celebrating an event. It just seem that they prefer to solve everything with violent. To prove which country is more powerful they are wiling to sacrifice the innocent citizens. Humans life are something invaluable in their eyes...... they take it without any care....... I suppose some one with "superior power" should step forward and crush the little brain of these war minded people before its late......

2ND YEAR

Last Sunday, i started my second year in university..... hrmmmm....... quite different from from last session. Everything seem to be more serious.... friends are scattered all over the place and I'm lost....... As for now and maybe for the rest of the year I'm gonna be living with someone new.... she seems to be ....... you know, less talking kind of people or maybe its just me....... i gotta break the ice right....???? but whatever, yesterday night my ex-roommate came to so called visit their long lost friend and it was C-H-A-O-S!!!!! it was fun...... miss the old times....

The best part was when we start gossiping about the so called weird people in our campus and all the leader in whatever activity we've participated....... it was hilarious!!!! but good times can't be forever right!!!???? I always remind myself that never to fall into deep happiness for too long because it might just hurt you when the bliss is gone....... Fuhh...... Must always get grip of yourself, have great determination plus happiness that you can gather along the way...... it will be the most meaningful thing to have!!! hahaha......

So, as usual im gonna wrap my not so inspiring post entry with some mad cuteness courtesy of Bigbang!!!!! oh another thing, take good care and protect yourself from H1N1 ok!!! ^^