Today, the girls have some heart to heart session a.k.a 'usrah'........ me being the lazy one of the bunch thought of escaping but somehow something tells me that i should wait and listen to this session..... As usual we start 20 minutes late... mind you, i H.A.T.E waiting! But whatever.....
The content of the usrah was simple, nothing heavy but it let you to think deeper about yourself..... how far have you come as a student but most importantly as a Muslim. Last year was tough. Being a freshie in a faraway land - KELANTAN - adapting to the custom, understanding the language was a difficult task. I've been to PLKN in yet another faraway land - SARAWAK - and Matrix but my best friend was in the same matrix and I practically have the second, third and fourth me in PLKN..... it was so much fun and it feels as if it was part of growing up process. But here, its difficult to be yourself and blend in. you have to fit the mold even though not exactly but that's how I felt to this day.... it feels as if you have friends but yet you still feel lonely -sigh-
But right now, as a student, my mission,vision,goal and etc.... is to my very best despite the difficulty i might face later...... I chose this course because I want to and not because someone force me in to it. Thus I need and must prove to myself that I'm worth every second that I spend studying this course.......I don't want to disappoint anyone especially my mom and dad..... the disappointment that they feel will cause me an eternity of regret and guilt.....
As a Muslims, I think I have a long way to go..... my knowledge and dedication towards Islam are still way too low compare to others. I'll try to move one step at a time and improve myself..... I don't want to do things because its a trend but I want to do it sincerely for Allah and Islam. I want to be able to explain it to other people why am i doing what I'm doing and not simply say " cause i saw people doing it,". It's not me. I need reasons to support my action. That's who i am!!! ~sometimes~
The content of the usrah was simple, nothing heavy but it let you to think deeper about yourself..... how far have you come as a student but most importantly as a Muslim. Last year was tough. Being a freshie in a faraway land - KELANTAN - adapting to the custom, understanding the language was a difficult task. I've been to PLKN in yet another faraway land - SARAWAK - and Matrix but my best friend was in the same matrix and I practically have the second, third and fourth me in PLKN..... it was so much fun and it feels as if it was part of growing up process. But here, its difficult to be yourself and blend in. you have to fit the mold even though not exactly but that's how I felt to this day.... it feels as if you have friends but yet you still feel lonely -sigh-
But right now, as a student, my mission,vision,goal and etc.... is to my very best despite the difficulty i might face later...... I chose this course because I want to and not because someone force me in to it. Thus I need and must prove to myself that I'm worth every second that I spend studying this course.......I don't want to disappoint anyone especially my mom and dad..... the disappointment that they feel will cause me an eternity of regret and guilt.....
As a Muslims, I think I have a long way to go..... my knowledge and dedication towards Islam are still way too low compare to others. I'll try to move one step at a time and improve myself..... I don't want to do things because its a trend but I want to do it sincerely for Allah and Islam. I want to be able to explain it to other people why am i doing what I'm doing and not simply say " cause i saw people doing it,". It's not me. I need reasons to support my action. That's who i am!!! ~sometimes~
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